To ask or not to ask
Sometimes I sit at my desk staring at something I have no idea how to do, and look at my colleague sitting next to me who would definitely know how to do it and wonder whether or not I should ask for help. I hesitate sometimes because I do not want to disturb my friend. And sometimes it’s because I’m worried if it will be humiliating. We have at some points in our lives been taught to think that not knowing is a reason to be shameful. But, if you think a bit, it really is impossible to know everything. So, then what are we feeling shameful about? For being just as we were supposed to be, People who aren’t universally capable of knowing everything. So, all of us will be learning new things all throughout our lives. While books, lecture notes and the internet are capable and useful sources, they are not always available or effective.
“To ask a question is already half the solution of a problem” — C. G. Jung
But, the shame of not knowing stops us from asking questions. We fear failure and humiliation. “Is the question going to be stupid?”, “Is the person I’m asking going to judge me?” or “ Will I just end up feeling humiliated?”.
However, something that I have noticed and keep on seeing is that the people who know how to ask questions without feeling shameful about it and the people who answer questions without humiliating others, happens to be the ones who get things done and tend to great at what they do. But these people are not always common. Most of the time the ones who are great at asking questions are keen on learning from anyone, whatever their background, age etc. happens to be. They are so focused on what they do that they will get it done with all the help they can get. And that involves asking questions. A lot of them.
Then there are the ones who answer questions well, without making the person asking it, feel the slightest bit of shame. These people are wise enough to know the importance of asking questions and also the simple truth that no one can know everything. Needless to say, they’re much easier to work with and always an instant favorite among those who always have questions. Now, when we ask questions, we may not always ask them from this kind of people. However, whenever you find yourself thinking “To ask or not to ask”, definitely ask. It will only ever leave you wiser, either regarding the question you asked or the person you asked it from. Happy Asking :)
